I use my blog as a journal, so forgive me if I get negative a lot.
Or kinda pissy and stuff.
It's just my mood lately, and I'm not gonna lie...
Let's be honest. I've been thinking about wanting to dissappear a lot lately. Not just for a little while, but permanantly.
Should I say the word? Here goes...suicide. Yeah.
I've been yelling at my kids a lot lately. It's not their fault. I'm depressed, and when I get depressed, I get angry about everything. And I mean everything.
YES, I'm going to my Pdoc tomorrow. YES, I am going to take things easy. YES, that means I'm skipping stuff that I should be doing or might even want to do. Wait...I don't really want to do anything right now.
Okay so...this is a crappy post for a blog. But oh well. It's MY blog. And I don't wanna do flowers and hearts and all that ridiculousness right now. I wanna be REAL.
Keep your thoughts positive for me.
I need it.
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4 comments:
I want you to know that I love you Kerri! If you need anything EVER let me know! If you need help out with the kiddos, a night off, a night out, a diet pepsi (as much as I would prefer buying you coke) a snickers, a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to, someone to bitch to, someone to blame, someone to yell at...ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! That's what I'm here for! I LUVE LUVE LUVE YOU!!! You truly are an amazing person and I am truly grateful to have you as a friend and in my life! I am glad that we became friends! It was what I needed! I needed Kerri in my life! And now I do! And she is the coolest person ever! It's all about the L-U-V-E!!
Hey chick - get Grant to send you to me for a few weeks - you need some sunshine and we have buckets of that here!
Hang in there - the bad brain chemicals will bugger off at some point. The fact that you can "talk"/blog about your black thoughts is a positive sign that you still have rational thought alive and well.
As a short term incentive for happy thoughts and expectancy, I have sent you and Grant a little parcel of down-underness. Hopefully it will arrive soon.
Remember, if it's too late at night to talk to local friends, you will probably find me online. Timezones can be your friend/
Love and hugs from Aus.
Barbara xxxxx
I love your honesty. For those of us who have been there (and are still there) it's nice to know we aren't alone. I wish I had some great, prophetic piece of advice but I don't. I just know that I love your guts! I'm sorry you are going through #%$& right now. It's the worst feeling in the whole world. I love you.
Hey babe, I read your post last night, right before bed. I wasn't sure if I should leave a comment or not so I wanted to think about it. I didn't sleep well but it's fine, I'm okay. I need you to be okay. I need you to feel happy. I need you to feel peace and joy and happiness. The bottom line is: I need you! Everything Heather said, I feel exactly the same way. You are an amazing friend! The memories we've created together are priceless---ones I can think about on a crappy day and have a reason to laugh.
I am here for you, please reach out. Don't fight alone. I've been where you are, too many times. Whatever you need, I got your back! Don't be afraid to pick up the phone. Love you tons, my dear friend!
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