I really didn't think I was going to be ready to blog about this so early, but I can't sleep tonight and I figured I may as well...
Today has been a truly awful day. Let me start at the beginning...
4 years ago, we adopted my puppy, Peetie, when he was just a few weeks old. He was born around Halloween and was such a wee little thing. He liked climbing up in your lap and giving multiple "kisses", chewing on EVERYTHING, and peeing all over the house! Naughty Peetie! We aren't the best animal trainers, so he had some bad habits, but he was just about the sweetest dog ever!
Peetie started having major anxiety issues when he was just a puppy, and unfortunately, that didn't go away. He'd shake and hide under the bed...bark at strangers...growl at frightening noises...and sometimes even bite. The biting became our problem. Peetie wasn't a vicious dog, he was just misunderstood. He bit because people he didn't know got too close, or they frightened him. The trouble is, the law doesn't see it that way.
We went to a family reunion a few weeks ago, and while there, he bit 2 people. This really upset Granty and he told me he thought it was time to put Peetie down. I immediately said no...there was NO WAY I was gonna do that. The more we talked though, the more I could see it had to be done. What if the next time he bit someone, it was a child? Or we were sued and lost everything? Or the police came to pick him up, quarantine him, and then put him down. He'd be frightened and alone. I just couldn't have that.
This morning, Granty called me and told me he had made an appointment to have Peetie put down. I broke down and completely fell apart. I immediately started loving on my puppy and broke the news to the kids. For the most part, they took the news pretty well...all except for Taylor. She sobbed and sobbed asking why? Where was Peetie going to go after he died? I put my arms around my kids and told them that I KNOW there is a place in heaven for animals and that Peetie would be there, waiting for us. It may sounds stupid, but it's been comforting for me to think of him in the arms of my Papa, covering his face with kisses and being loved, since I can't do it anymore.
At the vet, the Dr explained that they would basically give Peetie an overdose of a sedative and he would just drift away. That's exactly what happened. Peetie was afraid, but Granty had his arms around him, and I had his face between my hands. I kept whispering to him, "Go find Papa...find Reggie and Roger and Toby and SuzyQ and Blackie...and go play!! They are waiting for you." His eyes quickly closed and we laid him on the table. His breathing slowed and the Dr advised us when he had finally passed. Granty and I had some time alone with him and all I could do was just hold his lifeless body and cry. I had just let one of my dearest friends die and I couldn't forgive myself.
My cousin and best friend, Dawn, told me that she has heard that sometimes pets will sense something bad is coming, and will lay down their life for their "people". I'm clinging to that right now. Perhaps Peetie knew that his desire to bite would get us into trouble one day, and he wanted to save us of that grief. Maybe. What I DO know however, is that now I have my very own guardian angel looking out for me, and will fight to the death to protect me. That is a comforting thought, no matter how silly it may be.
So here's to you, Peetie. There truly is no better place than heaven for a treasure as you. You were my best friend...my comfort when I was sad...my pal when I needed someone to talk to...my joy when things were funny...my sweetheart who loved me with the purest love. My arms can't wait to squeeze the stuffing out of you again one day. Save some kisses for me! I love you!
