I have a charming and delighful 14 year old and I'm just about to wring his little neck! He's nearing 15 now, and I'm honestly wondering how in the HELL we're gonna survive the next few years!? Somebody out there PLEASE tell me this gets better...
Tim is truly a sweet kid, and his heart is in the right place, but the kid needs a serious and bracing reality check! I swear he thinks the world is his to do with as he pleases, and there is no reason for seriousness whatsoever. Everything to him is a joke, and I mean EVERYTHING. I know that doesn't sound like such a bad thing, and perhaps it isn't, but if he doesn't take anything seriously, he doesn't worry about much, correct? That includes consequences...
Rarely, if ever, do we see him doing homework, but we KNOW he has it! It's his responsiblity if he brings home his homework and does it, isn't it? I'm not supposed to know what all his missing assignments are and force him to do them, am I? He's a year away from driving for crying out loud! Am I still supposed to be holding his hand and changing his diaper, or letting him make his mistakes? Some parents make me feel guilty for not knowing what's going on and making him work harder, but how am I supposed to do that? His grades are horrible, and as a consequence, he can't go out with friends. If he doesn't have time to do his homework = no time for friends, make sense?
His High School registration info was due several weeks ago and I have asked him repeatedly if he has turned it in. I finally called the principal today and she said the info was turned into the H.S. weeks ago, so NOW we're supposed to call the H.S. and figure out what we do now. I'm making HIM call the H.S. and yet he's mad at ME because I forgot to turn in his baby picture for the yearbook. He told me that he was waiting for someone to tell him to turn in his H.S. registration info and that's why it didn't get turned in. I told him I was waiting for someone to tell me to turn in the baby picture and that's why it didn't get turned in. That didn't go over so well.
I'm frustrated with the irresponsibility of my kid! My 11 year old twins are more responsible than he is, and they are WILLING to be responsible! He fights with me about church; that he doesn't want to go, that YM Activities are dumb, yet he likes going to the Region Dances. I told him we can't pick and choose what church things we do, it's all or nothing and as long as he lives in MY house, he will go to church and fulfill his church obligations--ALL of them. As far as he's concerned I'm overly protective, overly concerned, overly responsible, and no fun.
How do you teach responsibility to a teenager? He was such a cute little kid. He comes home from school, shuts himself in his room, listens to his amazingly LOUD music and we don't see him until dinner. What are we doing wrong? What am I as his mother doing wrong?
I'm at the end of my rope! Somebody throw me a line cuz I'm outta ideas...
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6 comments:
Yikes!! I'm so sorry you are going through this! You should call my mom and ask her how she survived. I still apologize to her to this day for how I behaved. One day, when he's "grown up", he'll realize what he's done. I totally regret how I behaved and how crappy my grades were. Hang in there. Maybe I should sit down and tell him MY story! I'm so sorry. I think I'm going to call my mom now and tell her the same thing!! Love you!
Keri...I think I must be living in your household. I an experiencing the same thing with our 14 yr old son. Do yo have homework...I don't know. Are your assignments caught up...I don't know. You need to get your chores done...you need to get your chores done...you need to get your chores done, then you do them yourself. Did you take a shower? Did you pick up your room? Are you coming out of your room for dinner? Are you doing drugs? Mom, I really need my own computer, the family one won't down load all of my music...yea, that's going to happen! You know they say girls are harder...OH NO!! Our two oldest are girls and I never once had to get on their case (until they were out of high school). Our 17 yr old is still kind of a butt head but coming around a little. Our oldest apologizes on a regular basis as she sees and hears what we are going through. Our next daughter is 21 yrs old and is getting married Saturday. She is almost there but still a little self centered. So in answer to your question, I think you are doing what every parent of a teenagers is doing...surviving and a lot of praying. Heck...I go as far as put their names on the prayer roll. What makes raising teenagers worth it all is watching them raise their kids and loving those grandkids. Luv, Judie
I kind of sounds like me around that age and I was quite depressed and going through some hard times that I didn't feel comfortable going to my parents about. My parents were kind of oblivious to it all so I think I would have appreciated them showing some concern but that isn't the case with Tim, you definitely care and I see that. I wonder if he's depressed. I agree with Judie, fast and pray for him, put him on the temple prayer roll. I wonder if he needs some one-on-one time with you and with Grant. I dunno if I'm helping. I wish I could blink and make it all better but I will keep you all in my prayers! Love you!
Oh my friend, your cute son could not ask for a better family or better parents. Isn't this what it is suppossed to be like? I think that as a teenager, I was even worse! lol! Being a teenager is such a tough time for all involved. I have no advice my friend, we are slowly creeping up into that stage. Maybe by the time I get there, you will have it all figured out, and then you can tell ME what to do, lol! Hang in there, we sure love you!
Oh gosh Kerri! I so know what you mean! Josh is just BARELY becoming a human being again now that he's almost 16. It is SOOOO tough - the 14-15 year old ages! I thought 12-13 was bad, but 14-15 is way worse - but everyone tells me that 16-17 are good again - and the closer Josh gets to it - the better he is. Hang in there - it is so hard! I want to start a "teenager" support group in our ward - whatdaya think?
It's not you though - don't take things personally. They're full of raging hormones. It's all normal. Hang in there! And let's get a support group started - we need it!!
I am so glad that you are so much older than me so that I can watch and learn from you! I would totally see about getting him evaluated---he may be depressed, he may have A.D.D too. See if you can get him hooked up with Ricky & Joey's therapist---he's this big polynesian guy and in my experience he's very good with boys. I bet he'd be awesome with Tim! Too bad Wade lives so far away...I bet he would be helpful in this situation!
I think I have blocked out most those years of my life...It's gotta get better!
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